GAR Week 9: Balance

Libtard Is As Libtard Does

As of this writing, the world has endured 9.29 weeks of our oxidized iron¹ leader’s “golden age”. That’s 65 days of a messiah complex and braggadocio. That’s 1,560 hours of shameless lies and undelivered promises. That’s 93,600 minutes of incompetent governance. That’s 5,616,000 seconds of a volatile market economy. I’ve closely observed the actions and behaviors of the presiding yam and reached the following conclusion –

donald trump is Darth Vader and Emperor Palpatine rolled into one –

He will bring balance.

He’s not going to bring balance by tactful diplomacy and a sense of civic duty. He will do it by slowly creating a coalition to oppose him.

He will not be responsible for it in any direct way. It will be due to the thoughtful dialogue between those with contrasting viewpoints who see that we really aren’t so different.

ATMOSPHERE
Listen, I am firmly ensconced in a left-leaning media ecosystem. I know this. The fact that I have already been labeled a “libtard” is testimony to this fact –

This is nothing new. I’ve received that label proudly over the years. I even got called a “woketard” once. I think that makes me an upper-echelon provocateur among the MAGA faithful.

Here’s the thing –

With the awareness that I echo liberal talking points, I’m making an effort to get a more balanced diet of news content and report it in a more or less unbiased way.

Admittedly, I add my own spin by rating the content. In either case, I’m not flaming anybody or disparaging any group of people².

For posting unoriginal and hateful filth on the GAR Facebook feed, and the total lack of intelligible discourse. I’m giving “Robert Poopypants” three out of five thesauruses –

Moving on…

INGENUITY
You might notice the “3 of 28” at the bottom right on the above screenshot. I didn’t share the robust, fruitful dialogue that followed. I wanted to save that for a special mention. Here you go –

This guy posted a GIF of der carrot-face. Then thought, naw, that’s not enough. How bout one more? His very next thought was still not enough, so he posted one more… He continued this line of thought until he reached 23 GIFs; only then was he satisfied that he had made his point about a previous entry in this groundbreaking exposé.

GAR Week 1: A Utopia of Milk and Gas

The first week of trump’s “golden age” is behind us. Here’s my experience –

GAR Week 2 — Cupholders and DEI

Grocery Prices are Holding Steady, DEI Terror Over the Skies of DC (allegedly), and Ozzy Osbourne on Ice Skates

GAR Week 3: The Value of Adding Value to Others

Also, Adding Gasoline to Your Cereal…

GAR Week 4: “Golden Age” Defined

Go Go, Godzilla!

GAR Week 5-6: Gaslighting Accordion to Sycophants

If Our President’s Treatment of Zelenskyy is the Way an American in the Golden Age is Supposed to Act, I Don’t Want to…

GAR Week 7: Benjamin Franklette

At Long Last, Has the Golden Age Landed Upon Us?

GAR Week 8: Making Chicken Salad with Linda McMahon

Read on to Discover the Secret Ingredient

I don’t know where Paul Atreides and his grandpa, the Baron Vladimir Harkonnen stand on this issue, so I can’t give them a rating³.

For Tim Scrooge’s total lack of originality and disregard for the resources surrounding us, I am giving him three out of five derpy chatbots that can help him compose a more insightful, civilized response –

CULTURAL CONTRIBUTION
Returning to the notion of balance, I’ve had the privilege to engage in enlightening, constructive conversation with a colleague who is the red shade of me and I the blue shade of him. But for a locked door here and a fork in the road there — we are just two 40-something red-blooded Americans trying to find a place to stand. I’m not going to go into too much detail, I’ll just break it down like this — picture a struggling family of four. He sees a father who could put in a few more hours for his family, a mother who could take on a second job, an older sister who needs to learn how to live within her means, and a young son who needs to really apply himself in school to break the cycle of poverty. To be sure, I see these things too⁴; but I tend to see the series of unfortunate events that brought this family to this lowly state, to see the cracks in the system that these folks may have slipped through. I see four people who could use some help — my colleague sees this stuff too, but his viewing lens filters out more of the shorter wavelengths (i.e., blue).

I’m giving my colleague and me five out of five scales balanced by gritty, gritty sand.

I hope that we will find balance, either because of Trump, or in spite of him.

1. Iron oxide is the scientific name of rust. In its earlier stage, rust is orangish, much like don. Please know that I’m in no way suggesting that the orange one is in any way akin to iron, Iron Man, or even an ironing board*

*For the younger millennials and those in Generation Z, an “ironing board” was a long, flat surface that vaguely resembled a surfboard covered in a glossy plastic tablecloth. You see, there was a time when one’s appearance IRL was a valued attribute, so much so that some would use a steaming hot iron to press wrinkles out of clothing.

2. My quip about the ironing board above could be viewed as a disparaging remark to young folks, but it’s meant to be informative.

3. Paul Atreides, Vladimir Harkonnen, Robert Poopypants, and Tim Scrooge have been used in the place of real names out of respect for these individuals’ identities and also because I think it’s funny…go ahead and zoom in. It will be a bit grainy, but all the names have been changed.

4. Early on in our discussions, we both cited grit as an essential attribute for not only success but also a sense of well-being.